If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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