Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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