Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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