guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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