When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
