Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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