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talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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