I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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