smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
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6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
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of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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