just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
