i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How naked do you want me to be?
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