so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
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