I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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