Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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