Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
