Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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