from now on my penis is your penis
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
