Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Is it penis luge time yet?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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