You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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