all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
