I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just google imaged poop.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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