this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
