i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
FUCK WHALES
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