I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
