Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
