I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
