god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
