ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
