I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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