Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
