Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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