I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
