Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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