please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
