Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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