so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
