The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
