I never want to see another naked old woman again.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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