That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I would ride that face into the sunset
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
