I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
