Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
one two three fourrrrnication!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
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ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
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My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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