I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
