I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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