I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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