I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize