Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
