how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
