Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
