is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
