Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
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I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
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Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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