the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
