Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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