Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
