so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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