Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
