According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
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Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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