what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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